Why we self-sabotage and what we can do?
Self sabotage is anytime we block ourselves from our goals, desires and intentions by not allowing ourselves to make decisions and actions that serve our highest potential, and instead stay stuck in cycle of punishing, numbing and abandoning ourselves.
It’s the reason may people turn to support. Time and time again in my therapy chair sits another soul that feels blocked, confused and frustrated stating, “I know what I should be doing instead, but why can’t I stop doing x, y or z, or start exercising or leave the unfulfilling job or emotionally abusive partner, or push aside this critical voice?
This inner-battle and internal conflict is such an exhausting fight because we tend to wage war on ourselves and end up deeply resentful, guilty and angry at that part of ourselves that stubbornly won’t behave in our best interests.
These behaviours, thoughts and feelings that are blocking you from your greater good is a battle that is raging in your subconscious. This deeper part of your psyche is trying to protect you, prevent pain and deal with deep-seated fear.
What is the worst thing about reaching your goals?
And I wonder, what would you do if you weren’t afraid?
The answers to these questions always lie in our subconscious, our deeper mind, if we can only find a way to listen.
Towards internal resolutions
My experiences with so many people tells me that the only way to align your intentions with your thoughts, feelings and behaviour is to bring all of yourself together.
This means coming to resolutions for yourself with all parts in agreement and wanting the same goal.
The only way here is to face the fears and deeply rooted defence mechanisms that we don’t need anymore.
In my time as a therapist I have found Clinical Hypnotherapy to be a powerful tool to guide you towards finding these internal resolutions in a safe space.
The process gently and firmly allows you to be present with the different parts of yourself - the conflicting part and the motivating part - to let them all speak and be heard.
This process known as “Parts Therapy” calls for a deep state of hypnosis where I then call out the conflicting parts of you to help guide them towards new roles and attitudes. This teaches you how to soothe the fearful parts if you - these defence mechanisms - with the wiser and kinder other parts of you.
It is here as we meet the shadow parts of yourself that we creatively assign them a new role to play that stops the protective instincts blocking healthy change at every turn.
A common internal dilemma that I see is where the conflicting part is operating from a deeply protective space of fear, that we become frozen and unable to progress. The work is to be able to trust the motivating part, the part that truly wants to let go of the past and believe creating a different story is possible.
As we uncover these realisations, it becomes possible to begin to release this “unconscious protector” and move from fear into activities and perspectives that create real trust, safety and security.
Aligning the parts of yourself towards resolution allows you to make wiser and informed choices that unite the power of the mind and the heart and focus on tomorrow -
the future is where our answers lie.
And I wonder what new habits, rituals and ways of being do you want for yourself in the future?
Working `to make the unconscious conscious is a powerful step to daring to dream what is ultimately possible for you.
